Monday, March 16, 2015

                                                I don’t just rescue critters-
    Boy, nothing is ever boring! This actually happened a few summers ago, but I have not thought about it in a while. The other day Bob reminded me about and said- hey- that would make a good blog! So here it goes-
    I was working part time at the community college, so I had a few days off during the week. This beauty-

  would sometimes join me for lunch. We usually hit Atlanta Bread as it is one our most favorite places to dine. On this fateful day we were on our way home, probably giggling about something – or someone- and lo and behold- there was a freakin baby walking in the middle of the road!  We were in a neighborhood, but this street was still 4 lanes wide and pretty damn busy! The baby could not have been much more than 2. He had a diaper on and nothing else. I slowed the car down, Amber hopped out and grabbed him and I pulled the car over to the curb.

   I dialed 911 and spoke to the dispatcher, all the while waiting for a screaming lunatic mom to come running out looking for her baby. NEVER HAPPENED. The dispatcher then told me that if someone came up to take the baby (ex. the child's mother) I was not supposed to let her take the baby. Oh crap- exactly what was I supposed to do if someone came up to me? Hurry up, coppers- I don’t need to be on that television show COPS- again. Another concerned citizen pulled over behind me, and proceeded to drive around looking for someone that was frantically looking for a baby. NOTHING.  Amber kept the baby company- held him and sweetly talked to him in a soft voice. The baby was very calm and never cried.
  About 10 minutes later the cops showed up. (I was kind of surprised it took this long as we were about 2 blocks from the station, but what do I know). One nice policeman took my statement and Amber’s statement, and one of the other offices took the baby.
  Finally, after knocking on a few doors, the police found out which house the baby belonged in. The excuse was the baby must have gone out the back door and pushed the gate open. Now, let me tell you this WOODEN gate was at least 6 feet high.


  There is no way in hell that baby could have pushed that gate open. I don’t think Superman lived at that house and had a baby. The gate must have been propped open.

   The officers chatted with the gal for a bit, then came back over to us. They told us there would be a process and they would make sure this never happened to the baby again.
  Amber and I popped back into my car and off we went. I am happy to say that we have had many other lunches since then, but none quite as eventful as that day! I still drive by that intersection once in a while, and then think about that day. I saw quite a few cars in front of me that just drove by that baby, never stopping at all. I hope they just didn’t see him- which is scary as well.
  I am not trying to blow my own horn, as sometimes I admit I like to stick my head in the sand and not take care of things that need to be handled. I am just glad my instincts jumped in, saw a baby in need and didn’t even think about not stopping. Maybe I am not a total loser!!
Maybe there is hope for me yet!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

                                         I was a bad, bad girl-

     What a freaking nutty weekend I had!  Let’s rewind for a moment. Last weekend, I stopped in a quilt shop/sewing machine retailer just for fun. Unfortunately, they sell Pfaff machines. This is not a bad thing - but I sure did not need to see the new awesome pretty machine they are now selling. I fell in love instantly. I did not sit down at the machine nor did I sew on it. I left the shop- quickly. I then posted a little blurb about my quick trip on Facebook. One of my friends, who I had not seen a quite a few years messaged me. She informed me she now works at a quilt shop at the south end of town that also sells – yes, Pfaffs. Oh no. So, as we were conversing, she really started to get me interested in this machine that I really have no business buying. My Pfaff runs great, and I have a Bernina as well along with 2- yes 2- Singer Featherweights.


   So, after a few conversations with my dear hubby, and my friend Kim, along with sweet Jenny, off to Sew-Ciety we went on Saturday morning. Of course this could not be without a hitch. I needed to run to the store for a few things before we headed south, and lo and behold we come back out to the car and the damn thing won’t start. REALLY??? WTF??? So, after being on hold with AAA for 20 freaking minutes, I finally got through to a person who dispatched a tow truck. I am never on hold this long with them- and was surprised since our weather was fine and it was 8:30 on a Saturday morning. Did no one show up for work or what? As we were waiting for the truck, the Bobster went in and grabbed a bottle of Coke- and poured it over the battery cables. As we were sitting in our car, a nice man approached and asked if we needed a jump. “Yes, please, but our damn jumper cables are in the trunk of our other car.” Well this nice man had a pair, and as he was walking over to get them our car started right up! So, we ran home, switched cars and proceeded south. Thank God Bob noticed my car needed gas before we got on the highway. Geez Louise- what a morning!

    We finally get to the shop, and it was sure busy! We went in to the shop and met Jenny right off the bat. She was very kind, very patient and went over some of the slick features on my machine with me. What do you mean there is no presser foot lever? No bobbin case? Holy crap- this is going to be tricky! I got to chat with Kim as well, who usually does not work on Saturdays. She grabbed me some bobbins, I got up to the register and before I knew it the machine was mine! Kim took it out to the car for us and off we went. I could hardly wait to get home and play. I wish there was a way to plug it into the cigarette lighter so that I could sew on My Precious in the car! Someone needs to work on that adapter!!!
  Once we got home, I took it out of the box and began to play. I used clear thread with a zig zag stitch, cotton thread with a decorative buttonhole stitch, free motion quilted and also straight stitched and ended up with this for my dear seester-

   I do get several free classes on my machine- which I will schedule soon. Since I am a previous Pfaff owner I have somewhat of an idea of what is going on, but there are a hell of a lot of buttons on this thing I don’t dare touch yet!


   I want to give a big shout out to Jenny and Kim and the staff at Sew-Ciety, located in Castle Rock, Colorado. It was a very pleasant buying experience and I encourage anyone who needs- or doesn’t need - a machine to check them out! I wish they were a tad closer to home, but my dear friend Eileen has moved within 5 miles of them so I am sure I will be visiting both of them quite frequently, especially now that the weather is getting nicer. Eileen just happened to be at Sew-Ciety so I got to see her latest projects. So talented!!!!!!

   I sewed most of the day Sunday- with a little break to go upgrade my piece of shit phone. Lately it had been dropping phone calls, and the last person that it did it to was my brother Brooke, and he is not one to mess with. I had a FREE phone upgrade due, which kills me- as they have to charge you an activation fee for the new FREE phone. Exactly what is free about this transaction?? Bastards will get you any way they can. Now I have to figure out this phone works- and of course these new fangled ones do not come with a manual. My sewing machine came with one- why not my phone? GRRRRR. Hubby helped me pick out a cell phone that he said I wouldn't lose in my purse!


  Anywhoo- I will not be posting blogs for a while as my fat ass will be attached to my sewing machine chair. No, hopefully this means I will have a bunch of things to post as I will be getting some more sewing done.  Here is My Precious!
   Hugs to you all-

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Chip and Dale would like to welcome our new blog readers from Israel and Italy. Chip and Dale Designs is now read in all fifty states and forty-six foreign countries.


Sunday, March 8, 2015

How to get the most out of every piece of fabric!

Friday, February 27, 2015

                          SNOW- and more snow!

   I am sorry about the lag in posts- I got hit with the darn flu (or a bad cold) last week and boy it did me in! I did not get a darn thing done/sewed!  They were predicting quite a bit of snow here (nothing like back east however) so I was looking forward to hunkering down in my sewing room all weekend but NOOOOO- I laid on the couch all weekend and didn’t do shit! The dogs loved me, though. They are such little slugs!

    I did, however make it to a little job interview Monday night and I now have a part time job making dog collar covers for a dear woman I met through a friend. I have to make 100 of these little things before mid March- so I know where I will be this weekend! I think I can get them done Saturday, which leaves Sunday to play.
  I have been drooling over this Quilt A Long quilt in the most recent American Patchwork and Quilting magazine.

  I just love this quilt. It just seems to speak to me- maybe because it is so bright and cheery.

   Of course I have several things I really should be doing instead- piecing my Bear Paw BOM, starting the graduation quilt for a very special great nephew, and of course there is the pile of 4,000 unfinished damn quilt tops I have started. Oh well- that is what retreat is for!
   My first retreat of the year will be here before I know it- it is at the end of March. I have to start to try to figure out what to take. Last year I had everything prepped, cut and bagged beforehand along with the thread and any special notions I would need. It worked wonderfully- I got a ton of stuff done and there was no digging around for anything.
   I hope this year is a tad better for me - last year my dumbass brother ended up in the hospital right when I left and I was worried about his stupid ass all weekend. Love ya Brookie!  We have very spotty cell phone service at the retreat which made it even more difficult to get updates. Of course he ended up being fine- dipshit- but it was enough to put a damper on my fun trip. TO BROOKE- your ass better not be going near any hospitals at the end of this month- DO YOU HEAR ME NOW????
   A few years ago when I went there was major stuff happening at home- I almost did not go, but at the insistence of my daughter I went. I did end up having beergaritas at 10am that Saturday morning- but it was 5 o’clock somewhere! Lucky for us one of our stipulations where we hold our retreats is that they must allow alcohol. One year I called ahead and asked how big their freezer was and how much ice it could hold. The gal on the other end of the line was probably wondering what kind of quilters exactly were coming? She got awful quiet. (turned out they have their own ice machine- and it did keep up with the margarita making).

  It is because of the support and love from these peeps of mine that I am not in the looney bin typing this, but instead am at my office desk in a nice, warm environment not wearing a straight jacket. They are always there for me- and I love them all dearly.  HUGS to you all-past and present retreaters- you know who you are! Thank you for putting up with my crap- you will all be included in the book- I promise!


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

                                     A heart filled weekend-

   Hello all! I hope every one of you had a nice weekend. We had some beautiful weather Saturday- in the 60’s here in Denver. Saturday found us out and about. Bob and I had a nice lunch, went to the Denver Dog Show then splurged on red velvet milk shakes at LIKS.

     I got a 4 mile walk in after the milk shakes- in a t-shirt only! (well, I did have pants on as well- contrary to what some people believe, I am NOT an exhibitionist!) We then went out to dinner- fried oysters for me! The good thing about loving tiny places with good food is that they aren’t that busy on Valentines’ Day- we got right in!  Of Course we got up Sunday and it was 30 degrees. And then it snowed. Gotta love it!

   I did get another of my bear paw blocks done, so I am caught up! There are only 3 more blocks left, I believe. But, the big news is I finally got done sewing my Bionic Gear Bag! I have been working on it for a few weeks. The only reason it took so long is because instead of going into my sewing room when I get home from work, I plop my ass down in the chair, the dogs jump up on me and we cuddle the rest of the night. (plus I have been re-reading Fifty Shades of Grey- for the third time, teehee)
   All I had to finish on the bag was sewing the binding and zipper on to the top of the bag. And I finally did it! And, wait for it- it looks good for once! All of us quilters know how tricky sewing binding on by machine can be. When I fold the binding over, and try to stitch in the ditch, it always seems like the top stitching on the other side is crapola when I am done. This time, my friends, I kicked the bindings’ ass! And, for you my friends, I will tell you I think I have finally figured out the tricks to a good looking binding. I know, I know. I have only made 4,000 fricking bags with machine stitched binding. Some things come slow to me- DUMBASS.

    The first thing I did this time was slow the hell down. I am usually a fast sewer. It drives my friends crazy.  Just ask them. I also pinned that first seam- a LOT. These 2 things, along with making sure that I sewed that first seam very straight did the trick! This way, when I turn the binding over to the other side, if my seam is straight to begin with, the same amount of binding will be folded over the whole way across the bag. Also, as I am sewing in the ditch from the back side, the ditch is actually straight, also making this seam look good. I also used a LOT of pins when sewing in the ditch. I did hold my breath as I was turning the bag over to look at the first side of the stitching- holy crap- did I actually sew that? I was amazed- then proceeded to do the other side. Success!
   The bag I sewed is the Bionic Gear Bag. It has 4 zippered pockets inside, plus a fabric tray at the front where you can place more stuff! Take note of the way the stripes are laid out on the pockets- total accident, but a happy one at that!

 I did make the matching little fabric bowl so I had a place to put my Wonder Clips.

   It is a really slick pattern- very easy to follow. She includes lots of pictures and tons of instructions. You can find the pattern here-

     I really like the bag. I also love the fabric I picked. I machine quilted around all of the little flowers, and put just a little bling in the center of a few flowers.

   I will definitely make another one- I might have enough fabric left to make a matching 2nd one. If not, I may have a few pieces of fabric in my stash I can use-haha!

   Update- on Gracie- she is doing well at her new home. The vet said she is approx. 8 weeks old, and is a doxie/terrier or doxie/schnauzer mix. She is a healthy, happy little girl!
    Thank you for reading this my peeps!  Have a good week!

Saturday, February 14, 2015


And welcome to our new blog readers from Hungary and Italy!!

Sunday, February 8, 2015

                                       There once was this puppy-

     Boy, what a week!  On Thursday morning, as I was enjoying the peace and quiet in the office (bosses were out of town for a few days- whoo hoo,LOL) in walks one of our truck drivers. He had a little pet taxi with him. He told my shop guy and me that he had found this puppy and kennel abandoned at a truck stop- freezing and hungry. The truck driver had put a big block of snow in the kennel for her to drink from. (I am trying not the judge him- at least he rescued her, put her in his warm cab and brought her to us). As far as the ass who dumped her- I hope someday you are freezing and starving with no one to help you, you rotten bastard. The driver was going to take her to a shelter, but I took her out the kennel and she sure as hell was not going anywhere. I told him I would find her a home and shoved her in my hoody.
        I wanted to get a good look at her to see what breed she was, so I tried to stand her on the work table in the back. The poor little thing could not stand! I thought she had hurt her hind legs or her back. My shop guy poured her a big bowl of milk ( I know this is not good but at this point it was all we had to give her as my turkey sandwich and Fabian’s Captain Crunch were not interesting to her). She at first was not interested in the milk, and just slept in my arms for a while. Going to the bathroom was quite interesting as I did not want to put her down. But now I know I can do it one handed if I ever need to- haha. TMI- I know.
       I made the obligatory call to hubby-“come help me, I rescued a puppy”. Of course, he answered with “What do you need me to do?” So, while he was on his way to my work with some food for her, this sweet little girl finally woke up enough and warmed up enough to want some of that milk. And she drank, and drank, and drank. About 20 minutes later she was up and running all over the office- eyes brighter, ears up, tail wagging, and peeing all over the floor. Success!
    I was finally able to get a good picture of her and posted it on Facebook, asking if any of my friends were interested in this puppy. Bob showed up with the food and suggested I contact our vet to see if they do any pro-bono type work with stray puppies. One- I hate asking for free stuff, and two- this place is not known for being cheap, but we do love them! So, I called, and the sweet gal that answered the phone said ”yes- we do that all the time for adoptions for strays, etc.” and she told me she would have the main vet call me back.
      I got a text from a friend at one point that said “looks like you found a home for her” WHAT? I had not checked on Facebook as I had been pre-occupied cleaning up pee spots :) Actually, there were several offers to give this sweet thing a home! The first person to respond is a dear friend I worked with several years ago. She has another dog, a cat and 2 great kids- a wonderful family for a puppy! She wanted to come look at her! Fortunately she lives very close to where I work.
     She showed up a few hours later, sent a pic to her hubby and left with the puppy! I did not even cry as I knew this little one was going to be loved and well cared for. I would have loved to have kept her, but we have 4 critters and live in small place. I know we could have given her the love she needed, but I knew she was better off with my friend.
   The next morning my awesome vet called me, I gave him my friends’ number, and they have an appointment! He said they would give her a free well puppy check, and a discount on shots and getting her spayed. If you live near Lafayette, Co go see Dr. Dodge and his staff at Jasper Animal Hospital. They truly love their patients and it shows!
   I texted my friend to see how the puppy was doing- they have named her GRACIE! I think that name is absolutely perfect! She is fitting in well, and Amy says she is a joy! I promised her I would not nag her all of the time for updates- I hope I can keep that promise!
  Here is Gracie in all her glory-

    Have a great week everyone!

Monday, February 2, 2015

                                   Productive weekend-kind of
    On Saturday, I got to hang out with 2 of my favorite peeps- Terry and Lexie. I was Miss Daisy as Terry drove my ass all over Denver. The first stop was Holly’s Quilt cabin, a super quilt shop at the south end of town.
   I had been down a week earlier and was drooling over the new fabric line from Fig Tree called Somerset. While this fabric line is stunning, the large floral is not a fabric I am normally drawn to. I think it is the peach/salmon /green combo.

 My awesome boss bought me a gift certificate to Missouri Quilt Company for my birthday and it has been burning a hole in my pocket ever since. Then, on Wednesday I jumped on the Stitchery Dickery Dock blog and she has a new pattern out using a layer cake. OMG. You can find the pattern here-

  Well, as you all know I am quite the enabler so I talked Terry into making this quilt as well (to be honest it didn’t take much convincing and actually I think it was her idea). So, I figured what the hell and used my gift card and ordered a layer cake and my binding fabric. On Saturday, I bought a bit of yardage of the line so I could replace any of the layer cake squares I may not want to use. I also found my background fabric- it is so nice when you have friends that have a great eye for color to help with that!

 Then, we decided to do lunch. I had eaten at a little dive called Granny Annie’s Peachy Pie a year or so ago and decided we should go there. It was fricking closed! So, we headed up Federal and found agreat Mexican place and chowed down. We needed nourishment to continue shopping!

  After our bellies were full, we headed to most amazing stitching shop called- The Stitching Shop. They had thousands of threads, patterns, etc. They specialize in Brazilian Embroidery- which has nothing to do with a Brazilian bikini wax, although I think I did see Terry’s eyes roll back in her head several times when we were in there. They have the only certified teacher of Brazilian Embroidery in the state working there- and she also owns the shop- so you know they know their stuff! I think Terry and I will be taking some classes in the near future. Here is their website

    After we quit drooling there we dropped Lexie off and headed to another great shop called Wooden Spools. They carry fabric and the most beautiful yarn! I did find a yard of a white dot fabric that I loved- and I actually have a plan for it. Imagine that!
   That was our last stop, so Terry dropped Miss Daisy off at home. I was pooped!
    On Sunday, I woke up to 4 inches of snow- which was NOT predicted! So, I finished a quilt for my neighbor, and then traded four thousand emails and pdf’s with my pattern editor who shall remain nameless.  I am such a dumbass- she would send me a revision, then I would catch something else I missed. God love her for being so patient with me. But, after all that I now have 4 patterns for sale on Craftsy! I had them for sale through Jazz Cat- Irene rocks- and then decided to put them on Craftsy. So, I had my trusty editor change a few things and off I went. We shall see what happens! I have come up with a few new pattern ideas, now I just need time to draw the shit! You can find my patterns here-

  I am not really into the Super Bowl this year, so I am typing this as the game is on. I am even missing the commercials- the best part! Oh well-I will watch them on You Tube tomorrow!

Hope you all had a lovely week!

Sunday, February 1, 2015

IT'S HERE!!!!!
Chip and Dale Designs are now official Craftsy pattern designers. Check out our Sunflower pattern on Craftsy!!

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Welcome to our new blog readers from Slovenia and Switzerland!
Quilting is truly a universal language!