Chip and Dale Designs

Ok, so maybe I am a crack whore-

The 3 things you need to know before this gets started are as follows-

1. My son can imitate Cartman, one of the little kid characters on South Park, perfectly.

2. Cartman is a catcher on the South Park Cow's baseball team, as was Sean on his high school baseball team.

3. In one episode, Cartman’s mother is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.

Now, on with the story.

Several years ago we were able to spend the Christmas holiday in Pennsylvania with my family. It was the first time I had been able to do that since I left in ‘85- and it was wonderful! We were headed to NYC for a day of fun, and of course when I got up that morning I was starting to get sick. WTH?? My lovely niece then explained to me the magic of Sudafed. I was convinced I needed this magic elixir. On the way out of her small town we stopped at the local pharmacy. I proceeded to the counter to ask for “some of that there Sudafed” and handed the pharmacist my valid Colorado ID. I was excited- this was no ordinary medicine- I actually had to show my ID to get it- this was serious!

She typed something into her trusty computer, and then slowly starts looking me up and down. Did I put make up on today? Is there egg mcmuffin in my teeth? She proceeded to hand me back my license, looked down her nose at me and told me she cannot sell me Sudafed as I had already purchased my allotment. Allotment??? I have never had the shit before!!! In Pennsylvania or Colorado! I was not amused, but since I am no longer able to carry a gun I left. Bob also tried to purchase some and she told him the same thing. So, we had to go back to my niece’s house and get her drivers’ license so she could go in and get me my drugs. We laughed about it - A LOT-- and we decided right then I guess I really was Cartman’s mother and, without knowing it, I was the one on the cover on Crack Whore magazine!

Fast forward to last week. I ended up with early stage shingles. I got put on a few meds, one of which was a steroid. Now, growing up I never tried drugs. So help me, I didn’t. Hard to imagine, I know. I liked my hooch, but not drugs. I was always too chicken to try them. I am enough of an idiot without the help of enhancements. So the past few days I am noticing things. While I don’t think I am a total lazy ass, more things got done- faster! And with less sleep! When I went in to the doctor for a follow up, I asked her which of the drugs was making me so productive. When she told me it was the steroid, I asked her how to get more. She did not think it was funny. I have no idea how I ended up with a doctor with no sense of humor.

So, now as I am weaning off the damn steroids, my ass ended up on the couch last night at 8pm and I proceeded to fall asleep by 9 pm. Dammit-guess I better call my contacts at the magazine and see if they could hook me up- my doctor is of no use at all!

Here are a few of the things I got done while on steroids-

Got this top done- using the Quick Curve Ruler by Sew Kind of Wonderful-

Made 2 pillowcases to match-

Got this runner done for a wedding present-pattern by Bunny Hill Designs

And I machine stitched binding to the front of this wedding quilt-

I also managed a quick trip to the mountains with Amber-we ate our whole way there and back. Gotta love Freddy’s Custard. She needed a picture taken of her in the mountains- this is what I came up with-